Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
