In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am available for nakedness
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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