i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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