Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
