WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
