I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
