I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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