And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
