There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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