if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
