Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
