yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
