Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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