guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
