If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Everything about him screamed your future.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
