Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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