I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
