i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
