i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
