first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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