If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
