My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
