Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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