after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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