Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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