Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
