I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
