like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
