I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
