Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
