I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
