Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
