I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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