I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
