Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
