He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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