I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
