I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
