**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
