It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
