I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
