This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
