He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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