Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
