i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
