Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
