I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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