he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
