We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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