69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im holly from the hills drunk
Girls should come with a carfax report
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
