Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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