I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
