were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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