We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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