Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize