I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We need to get me chipped asap
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
