so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
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Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
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nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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