Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
