Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
