if you like me you must not know who I am
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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