I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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