champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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